The symbol for The Big Lie is a record which I believe was strategically chosen because the Big Lies are the recording, the soundtrack that is set on repeat in our heads. I have spent all of my adult life believing that the switch for that recording was broken. Forever set to ON and me without the technical expertise to fix my sound system.
If it is true that opportunities for growth and discovery come to us when we need them and are ready to receive them, then The Big Lie came to me when I was finally prepared to examine the nagging feeling that something was, well, wrong with my soundtrack.
Armed with that feeling, I joined Shandra and Lana for a day of discover, unearthing some fossils from my past that quickly revealed themselves as the foundation of my present. There were a lot of lightbulb moments. There was a lot of stunned silence.
Lana and Shandra kept our day moving with humour, grace, and upbeat attitudes that balanced some of the heavier material. They were clear that they were not there to fix but more to truly facilitate the reveal of our Big Lies. Neither of them tried to minimize or diagnose. Dialogue and self-discovery were encouraged and I believe that with honesty and real connection that all of The Big Lies participants left with a fuller understanding of how to address the deeply personal truths and untruths of our Big Lies. I personally left with a plan on how to fix my broken record player.
In the months following The Big Lie seminar, I found a good therapist. I, who had always believed that I could do everything all by myself, realized that I needed help. For if I could get so much from talking for a day with other people, then what progress could I make for myself if I enlisted someone just for me?
The Big Lie really highlighted for me that I was carrying false recordings that have been with me for thirty years. Me, bopping along, thinking that this was just how it was.
I am learning now how to hear the beauty of silence. I am listening to a symphony of calm, and okayness, satisfaction with my best effort, and honesty with myself. Every day that gorgeous music is becoming my soundtrack and now when the cacophony of my Big Lies break in, I have the tools to switch the station. I have a choice in what I hear.
My Big Lie was not working for me anymore. It never really did. I would not have realized it if I hadn’t been open to questioning its existence in the first place. I have so much gratitude to Lana and Shandra for facilitating such a powerful shift in my attitude and the quality of my inner music.
~ Cathy Genovese
